just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
