If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
