Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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