I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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