It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Randomize
