I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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