idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
