How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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