Barsexuality is the new black.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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