I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
