Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
