need another drink. this is the easiest way
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
