5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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