Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
