I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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