Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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