Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
