so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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