She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
