When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
