I haven't been this sober since birth.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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