Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
