i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
