I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
