I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She bit a glass in half.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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