we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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