Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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