I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
