Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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