So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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