well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
And then he peed in my hair
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