Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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