Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
