ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just want to make out with him forever
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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