Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
