I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sorry about my life...
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