I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
