C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no, he came in my armpit
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
