I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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