I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
