scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
