I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
