just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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