Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
