I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am one with the molecules
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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