I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
