Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
