I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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