I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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