Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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