Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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