Umm I'm too high to move.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
