I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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